A Moment In Time
by Sineya
Summary: Reminiscing on days gone by.


A Moment in Time  
Author: Sineya  
Disclaimer: Not mine. 'I Would've Loved You Anyway' belongs to Trisha Yearwood.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Reminicsing.......  
Author's Notes: I love this song, and it just made me think of them.  
  
  
******************************************************************  
She sat alone.   
  
Pictures of life covered the walls, telling a story.   
  
A book lay in her lap, the cover cracked and worn. The pages a dark gold from years of handling, the pages slightly bent.   
  
She tips the cover back slowly, and gazes down.  
  
Remembering.  
  
*****************************************************************************  
  
~ If I'd a-known the way that this would end  
If I'd a-read the last page first  
If I'd a-had the strength to walk away  
If I'd a-known how this would hurt ~  
  
  
When you kissed on that cold, early morning.......I never thought it would end like this. I never thought we'd part so sadly, so.........far apart. I never thought I'd lose your smile, or the sound of your laughter. The face I thought I'd caress every night, the eyes I thought would look into mine until one of us passed into a world beyond this.......I never thought they would disappear.  
  
The picture was so clear.....so hopeful.   
  
I never thought when I opened the book, when I experienced each fight......each kiss. I never thought the tale wouldn't end with, "And they lived happily ever after."   
  
I never thought it would end with goodbye.  
  
When I look back, I don't recognize myself. Somewhere along the way I think I lost a piece of myself in you, a piece that I readily surrendered because I didn't need it. I don't think I realized how important it was to us.   
  
I never lost myself in him, not the way I did with you. I was the one that walked away. I was the one that said goodbye.   
  
I couldn't do that with you, I couldn't say the words.   
  
I never expected you to.   
  
The pain was so unexpected......because I never envisioned the goodbye. It struck me to the core, seeped into my veins like a drug. When you berated me......when you tore into my heart with those such a piercing verbalization..........I never expected the hurt.  
  
Because I hadn't expected the words.  
  
  
~I would've loved you anyway  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change  
Not a touch that I would trade  
Had I known my heart would break  
I'd a-loved you anyway~  
  
  
But never once did I regret you.  
  
Regret us.  
  
When I look back, I don't wish our love had never come to be. I don't wish I had stayed with him. I don't wish for the easy road.........the comfortable bed. I don't wish you'd never kissed me, or we'd never told him.  
  
I don't wish for a rewrite.   
  
Every smile, every smirk.....every breath. I don't wish for it all to disappear. I wish to read it all over again. I wish to feel it all again. I was so happy those few months. You were my hero, and sometimes my villain, but through it all..........you were my everything.   
  
I don't regret loving you, because it was worth everything.  
  
When I was a young girl, I was so impatient. So ready to jump.........so ready to fall. I remember reading Romeo and Juliet, and falling for their story so easily. I was so in love with the concept of soulmates. Of love at first sight. So I flipped to the back, and read the last page before I read the story.  
  
I didn't regret it.   
  
It made the book real, their instantaneous emotions so much more..........alive. They gave up their lives for each other.....their souls. A tragedy.   
  
If I'd have known our epilogue.....our finale....our end. I wouldn't change anything.   
  
Those few months of love meant more to me than the endless relationships I've had. The countless romances.......or the tears I had with him. Those few months were Heaven.......and Hell.   
  
But they meant the world to me.   
  
  
~ It's bittersweet to look back now  
At mem'ries withered on the vine  
But just to hold you close to me  
For a moment in time~  
  
  
Yes.....I cry when I think of you.   
  
He sometimes asks me why my eyes glimmer at the sight of raindrops. Why, when we see a boat fly by us........I sigh with yearning.   
  
I tell him it's because I'm remembering you.   
  
He gets this look.....this frown, and he becomes quiet and still. That's when I know he's thinking of you.....wondering where you are......what you're doing.   
  
Wondering if you have a family of your own.   
  
I don't allow myself thoughts like that.....they drown out the memories I hold so dear. The pictures of us.....of you. And I get so swept away, caught in years past.   
  
As I look down, watching our story unfold, I wrap it around me.   
  
Wrap you around me.  
  
  
~ I would've loved you anyway  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change  
Not a touch that I would trade  
Had I known my heart would break  
I'd a-loved you anyway~  
  
  
You thought I chose him.   
  
I did once......but I don't regret it. Being without you, without your love. It made me realize how much I needed you.......needed your love. It made me realize that I couldn't survive without you, but I could survive without him. Without his love.  
  
Every fight, every angry glance, and glare. Every night without you.......I don't regret them.   
  
Because those nights reminded me why I loved your smile so much.....why your eyes lit my day. Why your touch was so heady, so......tempting. That night we fought, that night I cried and you left.   
  
That night we argued......then made love.  
  
It was us.......and it was perfect.  
  
  
~And even if I'd seen it coming  
You'd still've seen me running  
Straight into your arms~  
  
  
If I'd realized how far away you were those last few weeks.....how distant. If I'd known why you flinched, why you turned from me. Why you stopped loving me.  
  
I'd have done it all the same.  
  
If I'd known how we were going to end. How our last chapters were going to unfold........I wouldn't have changed a thing. I wouldn't have stopped you from telling me why, or leaving.   
  
Because it made up our story.....our love.  
  
It took your enraged face, your fierce voice, to make me realize how in love with you I truly was. How much I needed you...how much I wanted you. How close I'd come to losing all of myself in you.  
  
You gave me everything.....I gave you all I had.  
  
Two people with only so much love, and too much need........are inevitably going to run themselves dry. But we left nothing untouched, and I know you gave me all you could. I know I gave you all I possessed.  
  
And that makes those few months more precious than anything.   
  
I would've stayed your embrace forever.....I would've laid in your arms for eternity.   
  
We didn't have forever.....we didn't have eternity, but we had something.   
  
And that something became everything.  
  
  
~I would've loved you anyway  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change  
Not a touch that I would trade  
Had I known my heart would break  
I would've loved you anyway~  
  
  
If someone came to be and granted me the power to turn back time, to fly through the years back to when I was a young girl in love. If They gave me the chance to change everything.....to change my life. To change us.  
  
I'd say no.   
  
Because we were right. The antithesis of wrong.........because everything we did was so real, so absolute.  
  
Looking back on the years and remembering.......I smile. By changing everything I change nothing. Because I was fated to fall for you.....to love you......to possess you. You gave me love, and life. You gave me him.  
  
You gave everything you could, and it was more than enough.   
  
I'm still waiting for the boy, and the boat. I'm still waiting for the promise.   
  
I'll always be waiting, and I'll always wrap you around me when I'm cold.  
  
I never regretted you, Pacey.  
  
I never regretted us.  
  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
Joey smiled, closing her story and shutting him away once more.  
  
"Thinking about him again?"   
  
She started at the voice, but smiled as someone entered the room. Nodding she looked up into worried eyes, reaching out and entwining her hand with his. "Yes."  
  
He sat next to her, the bed sinking under them. "Do you think he'd come back......if he knew about us? About me?" His eyes flickered with anger, and the slightest hint of hope. The look caused a familiar ache in her chest.  
  
Joey pressed her cheek against his, stroking his back softly. "He would."   
  
He pulled away, staring down at her. "Do you still love him?"   
  
She smiled softly, her eyes glimmering with longing. "I'll always love him." She reached out, pushing a stray, brown strand of hair that hid intense, blue eyes. "And you."  
  
He nodded, and hugged her close. His eyes were shadowed with years of doubt, of anger......and hurt. He stroked her back soothingly, and stared at the silver picture-frame on her night table.  
  
Two teens stood on a boat, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. The boy's eyes were bright, reflecting the deep blue of the ocean. His mouth was curved into a wide, cocky smile as he stared down at a grinning brunette, her brown eyes flashing with humor.  
  
The young man hugged the woman in his arms closely and looked away from the happy couple, pressing his face into her neck. "I love you too, Mom."  
  
Seconds later laughter could be heard from the small bedroom, as mother and son bantered back and forth. Intelligent quips rang throughout the house, and the echo of arguing ran down the hall. Footsteps reverberated over the stairs as they ran around the house.  
  
Later they'd leave, and row down an ageless creek in a small boat.  
  
They'd sit on a creaky old dock and they'd wait.  
  
Wait for a man and his promise.  
  
  
~I would've loved you anyway~  
  
  
Finis 


End file.
